If only...

Happy New Year - OkCupid, Fitbit, and Quiche, Oh My!

Yes, yes I realize that it is already 10 days into the new year and I'm just now posting.  Thank you for pointing that out.  I've been through the ups and downs, excited about the new year, depressed that it feels the same as last year, hopeful for romance and tragically disappointed by the OkCupid prospects popping up on their mobile app.

One of the ups that has stuck for now is the back to WW and eating healthier (i.e. grocery shopping) and documenting all this a bit better here so I feel accountable and appropriately shamed when there are hiccups. I don't believe in shaming other people for hiccups in their resolutions/intentions/goals/whateveryoucallem, but I work well when faced with self-shaming or losing any sort of competition.

The results for this first week (I'm counting this as the first week since I was having an amazing beach vacation for the week over New Years which obviously means nothing counts) include trying out a few new recipes and amping up the Fitbit competition.

Slight tangent on the Fitbit - I like this tracker much better than any others I've had.  I don't think it does anything more, or different, than countless others but it hasn't broken.  I went through several pedometers that either broke with sweat or fell off.  I've had my Fitbit for over 4 years and love it.  For me having the data of how much I've done in a day definitely helps me do just that extra bit more.

Two more people I know got a Fitbit for Christmas and are now in my friends on that app - which really means are two more people in the cut throat, never ending competition for highest steps!  They may not have known they were entering that race, I may never tell them they're in the race, but they are!  Right now I'm second to my friend and co-worker for the week and it's driving me crazy - or I'm already crazy and therefore I care - you pick.

Here is a recipe I tried this week that I was actually really pleasantly surprised by.  Originally intended as a  party food I actually made the whole recipe and have had them throughout the week as a little snack or a couple for breakfast.  Tasty and not horrible for me definitely equals a win in my book.  It was pretty straightforward once you got all the ingredients.  Let me know what you think.

Ingredients

• 4 spray(s) cooking spray   
• 2 small uncooked zucchini, finely chopped   
• 1 large uncooked onion(s), finely chopped   
• 1 cup(s) shredded parmesan cheese, about 3 oz   
• 6 large egg(s)   
• 1/2 cup(s) all purpose flour   
• 1/4 cup(s) basil, fresh, finely chopped   
• 3 Tbsp olive oil, extra virgin   
• 2 tsp baking powder   
• 1 tsp sugar   
• 1 tsp kosher salt   
• 1/2 tsp black pepper   

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 375°F. Coat two 24-hole nonstick mini muffin pans with cooking spray (or use just one pan and cook in two batches). 
• Combine all ingredients in a large bowl; spoon about 1 heaping tablespoon egg mixture into each prepared hole, making sure to stir mixture after filling each one. 
• Bake until bottoms are golden brown and quiche are cooked through, about 15 minutes. Remove pan(s) from oven and let quiche cool for a few minutes in pan(s); remove quiche to a wire rack to cool more (and repeat with remaining ingredients if necessary). Yields 1 quiche per serving.

WW Update

Sticking with the idea that making this public and paying for the service will help me stay motivated and on track, here is another update on the Weight Watchers journey (this time around).

First an admission, I did not weigh in last week.  It was the week following Thanksgiving and the week of lady days and mostly I was not feeling up to seeing a raise in the number on the scale.  I realize this was me being a scaredy cat but I didn't have it in me.  So I went one more week, attempting to stay on track and making it to Zumba twice and go from there this week.

This morning I woke up about an hour late - either alarms didn't go off or I woke up, turned them off and then went back to sleep with no memory of doing so (it's happened before).  I could have easily used this an excuse to not weigh in this morning but that is my old pattern and I'm working on new patterns.  I weighed in, braced to face the number whatever it was and...it was lower!! In fact, it was lower by 3.8 lbs - almost the recommended 2 lbs per week which felt great considering Thanksgiving was part of one of those weeks!

Not only that, but when I put it in the tracker...

10lbs down!  That was my personal goal to reach 10 lbs down by Christmas, now I can reset that and keep it going.  Not a bad way to start a Monday, even if I did oversleep.

WW CheckIn

So while the makeover experience was great I have to say there were a few parts of it that ended with me feeling a bit less good about myself than when I walked in there.  I'm working through it and generally am never down on myself for long so fear not! However, it did make me even more committed to really working at Weight Watchers online and seeing if this is something I can add into my life and have work.

I must admit that last week was not an amazing week for me in terms of diet and exercise.  Partially as a direct result of the time the hair and color took. As a result when I weighed in this morning I was not expecting much, thinking maybe 1lb ish because while my activity was low I did stay within my points goals for almost everyday and did not go through my weekly allowance on the few days I went extra.  I was more than pleasantly surprised to see another 1.3 lbs down, bringing my total for two weeks to 5.8 lbs lost.

It's encouraging to know that even with medium weeks in terms of focus that changes are being made - makes it all feel doable in the long term.  I know it's still early but I'm working towards another hair cut!

Projects Update!

It has been a while but it doesn't mean I've forgotten this goal.  I've been working on a few items from the list and even incorporated one into the latest Coursera design course I'm taking.

I'm going to add in the updates, below.  This will include the updates from before and the most recent...

1. Bedroom Makeover: At this point my bedroom still looks like a slightly grown up college dorm room, even though it is attached to a house I own! UPDATE:  I've been in touch with a local artist who works in reclaimed lumber and I'm commissioning a bed!  Going over to his studio this weekend to finalize the design details and then we're moving forward.  Thanks friends for this referral!  DONE!  I have been comfortably sleeping on my new bed for a month or two now.  I'm so happy with the final product.  I'll be sure to get a post up about this soon and link to the artist.  He does some great work!
2. Color in the Kitchen: The kitchen is full of beige, I am not a beige person! Or if I have become one I no longer want to be one!
3. Build 4 x 4 workbench:  As seen at an artist studio at American Steel Studios.  Forgot about this one, need to see about supplies
4. Build nightstands I'm counting this one as DONE too.  I actually just finished up this project yesterday.  I'm being vague because I've actually only completed one nightstand but I'm pretty happy with it.  I also think that it has spurred another project that I've added to the bottom of the list.
5. Run a race.  Getting there.  I've agreed to sign up and train for a race with my coworker.  I've agreed but haven't done anything yet :-/
6. Front yard makeover: Want to replace lawn with native plants and drought resistant plants, tired of seeing brown grass.  I did mow it the other day, which felt like an accomplishment.
7. Back yard makeover: Add fruit trees, cut out some lawn for "crops", create succulent planter
8. Complete one new woodblock
9. Take an art class
10. Make a "pouf": Here's one project but maybe search because I know there were a couple that did it on the cheap using IKEA rugs I think. UPDATE:  I made an IKEA run and the rugs referenced in this pattern are no longer there, or weren't that day.  Thinking I can probably find a substitute though.
11. Sew a complete item of clothing (more complicated than a skirt though) using a pattern. DONE. I made a fairly hideous pair of kulots/gaucho pants for our Troop Beverly Hills Halloween costume this year.  While it was not a true pattern, I did use a pair of pants I already have to create this pair and had to make some sizing adjustments and amendments as I went.  Let's just say I'm not destined for Project Runway anytime soon. 
12. Design and get a tattoo: TGT tattoo or other UPDATE:  I've pinned some ideas to the Pinterest Board and I'm trying to pin down the girls on when we might do this.  P.s. TGT is what we've named our friend group - yup, we named ourselves.
13. Make Christmas presents for my neighbors: Starting pinning mason jar gifts.  Just a nice thought and I like the idea of remaining close with the neighborhood.
14. Build and paint a bean bag toss game: A family friend requested this game and while I'm not totally convinced that my construction skills are up to it I found a youtube telling me how and pinned it. I'm going to take some time this weekend to go and get the supplies and give it a go. Note: As I'm writing this I realize I'm referencing a lot of pins so I created a Pinterest board for this blog in case anyone wants to see them all in one place.  UPDATE: I've made a shopping list and purchased some of the supplies for this.  Found the plans.  Then life got in the way, trying to make time for this again.  Ack, still behind on this, fail.
15. Sew baby blanket:  My good friend just had a baby and I want to send her a homemade baby blanket and one of my onesies from my etsy shop RadBaby.  DONE! See the post about making the blanket.  I recently got a photo back from my friend with her one month old swaddled up in it - baby adorablness.
16. Add a new item for sale to RadBaby: Speaking of, this shop needs some new energy in it and I think a new product.  I'm working right now to keep it active and may do a sale to clear out some stock and then work to figure out another item to put up for sale.  I've gotten the suggestion of button earrings which could be cute especially using scrap fabric from our aprons.  DONE!  See the post about the new earrings we added.
17. Complete a Coursera course:  I have signed up for Dino 101 and Intro to Computational Design (starting today!).  However my real project is to actually complete a course.  I took two others previously that I really enjoyed but I let life get in the way and didn't complete them.  UPDATE: Haven't completed either course yet, but still on the right track and not too far behind in either of them. It's still early yet though. DONE I completed all the lectures and assignments for Dino 101 - it was awesome.  I have given up on the Intro to Computational Design.  I enjoyed the first two modules, programming and photoshop, but the third is audio which does not interest me.
18. Create a housewarming gift for friends that are moving. DONE!  I created a great housewarming gift in a mason jar for my best friend's brother and his girlfriend.  It took me forever to give to them but that is not part of this project so there.
19. Add shelves and/or decor to the bathroom.
20. Go to Zumba classes 2 times a week for at least a month. DONE!  Successfully accomplished and still going.  With the exception of some sick days we have been consistently going every week and plan to keep at it. It's a great break and separation from the day.  Plus an amazing instructor, which makes all the difference.
21. Attach a charging pad in the new nightstand so that phone can charge just sitting on the nightstand.  I've seen this project online and thought this would work really well in my new suitcase nightstand.  Just need to research how much one of those costs and if I want to splurge.
22. Build an acoustic speaker for iphones. DONE!  I actually built two, and gave one to Meg for her birthday.  I'm using this idea as a prototype for the next Coursera class I'm taking (Design) and am hoping to refine the design even more.  

Wow!  Finaly tally isn't looking so bad.  We're 5 months into my 30th year and I've come up with 22 of the 30 projects and completed 9 of those 22.  I was feeling like I'd been slacking but writing it down made me feel more accomplished.

Jumpstart

The seasons have definitely turned and while I enjoyed the extra hour of sleep I'm not looking forward to the dark rides home from the office.  It really cuts into my motivation to get out of the house in the evening.  The dark equals bed time in my brain.

So I decided as I go into the holiday seasons and the darkness I need a jumpstart getting back on track with my food and tracking etc.  Going with the theory that one is more committed if you pay for it I decided to try out Weight Watchers online.

I did WW years ago but hated going to the meetings, so I'm hoping this is a good substitute for me.  I don't love calorie counting and kind of just need a structure to get me going through the holidays.

Going to keep on the cardio from the trainer and I'll keep you posted.

October Challenge

I've mentioned my trainer before and how she tries to kill me, she would like that amended because she is not trying to kill me, just trying to make my fat cry (sweat = fat's tears).  She has challenged all her clients to participate in an October challenge removing all artificial sweeteners, limiting sugar in general and upping the protein intake and see where it gets us.

Overall Challenge Goals:

• No artificial sweeteners at all
• Minimal sugar intake
• Minimal carb intake: Carbs either in morning or at lunch, not at dinner
• High protein intake: 75-100g/day
• 80oz water daily
• 1 glass of preferably red, or white, wine if desired.  If possible avoid.

I've agreed to do this because she's very persuasive, I need a jump start to get back on tracking my food, and we all know I'm genetically pre-disposed to accept almost all challenges put my way.

I'm going to start tracking my food again in Fitbit and possibly take before and after pics, though need to find someone to do that.

Oy, dating without drinking...challenging indeed.

Holy Zumba, Batman!

One of my projects for my 30th year was to go to two Zumba classes a week for at least a month and see how I felt - different, same?

I'm into my second week and so far so good, except, Zumba's hard.

The gym where one of my besties and I are going has a class that is later in the evening, good for us working folks, but it is intense!  Feels like it's at a level 13 on a 1- 10 scale for the whole hour.  There are so many people in there that they had to move it to the basketball court to accommodate.

This is not a bad thing though because there are no mirrors in the basketball court.  Because, while I feel like I'm getting a little bit better each time, the main thing that doing Zumba has taught me is that I'm incredibly uncoordinated and should not be watched while dancing.  Also, that it is possible to sweat so much that you fell like you accidentally fell in a pool somehow.

As felt by many others, I'm pretty sure that to the objective observer it is quite a bit like this:



I'll keep you posted!

Worry worry worry

Do you ever go through those phases in your life where you just worry?

I don't know if it's because I'm aging or because I live alone or just because I'm paying attention but for the past few months and definitely in the last month I've been having pretty generalized anxiety.  Most of the time I worry about crime, which is not totally unjustified, as it is on the rise but I worry about it constantly and then when I don't worry about it I worry that I haven't worried about it, then I worry about my worrying.

I've been trying to pay attention to when it's happening.  It happens in those slow moments, the quiet moments when I'm not thinking about other things.  I keep doing everything I would normally but there are periods of the day when I have elevated heart rate, which I know is not great for me, and I worry.  A lot of the time I can talk myself down.  If I get burglarized  its just stuff and it's insured, and I agree with me but then I worry about my parents, who are also smart and take care of themselves - it's just a cycle.  I've also found that its more prevalent if something new or stressful is coming in my life.  For example, it has flared up a bit since my sister has returned and is planning to move in, which I think will be a good thing.

What I don't like is that this is apparently how my body/mind is now dealing with stress - to send me into panic mode - can't keep going this way.  So obviously I did some internet research, almost never a good idea when considering medical/health issues but still I did.  Closest thing I could find, if I qualify, would be generalized anxiety disorder, which is basically what I described.  I just can't let this take over my life.  I'm not sure what's changed to create this but it is definitely different and I may need help with it.

First I'm going to spend some time working on it, on myself.  I love my town, even though it definitely has some serious problems, and I need to find ways to remember that by spending time doing things again.  I listen to everyone and they don't seem to have changed their behavior or how they act and I know I've done what I can to be proactive, but still I worry.

So I'm going to look at meditation, journaling when these moments happen and if there is a trigger and also hope that with some of the "stressful" situations done, i.e. the wedding, and living with the sis, I can get back to feeling like myself.  I also need more sleep - may be time to impose an early bed time for myself...

Just wanted to share, this a new struggle for me and frankly unfamiliar ground because for my life up until now, as I remember it, I have been blessed to be fairly care free and happy, a place I want to get back to.  I will keep you updated and I am open to professional help if it gets there.

Daily check in

Did well yesterday, got my food in check, cardio in and even got some artwork done.  Now just need to work on my sleep.

Could not wake up this morning!  Didn't get my drink made and am now about to happily dive in to a breakfast burrito, did bring my lunch though!  If I get my greens in tonight I'm still on track - not too shabby.

Countdown: 24 days

The weekend

Why are they always so short?

Anyway this weekend did not go amazing in the countdown to the wedding and my focus on diet. Due, not in small part to the fact that I tried and succeeded way to well in completing one of my pinterest projects.  While I always fear ending up with a Pinstrosity, this weekend to my waistline's detriment I made these delicious things...



Tasty enough that I can't actually regret these.

This weekend was also great for me because for the first time in a long time I got back to doing some art, it's amazing how wonderful it can feel to do something that I've been missing for the last 8 years.  A terrifyingly long time but I do feel like I haven't really done art I've like, crafts yes, since I graduated in 2005 - I try not to focus on it because the numbers scare me.

Feeling grounded and happy for the moment....

Oh carpool

So I think I've mentioned that I get into the city in the morning in the casual carpool, a very northern California set up where anyone driving into SF from the East Bay and anyone riding in line up in designated spots and fill into strangers cars.  My friends from school in Massachusetts find this appalling and without fail say something along the lines of "damn hippies".

This has been around for at least 30 years at this point, my mom was the one who taught me how to use it when I worked summers in her office in San Fran.  There are some unwritten rules, these days it's generally polite to offer a dollar contribution to the toll, speaking is generally kept to a minimum unless the driver starts the conversation and more often than not you can expect to listen to npr on the ride in.

Like I said, it's generally very functional and frankly mundane, but every once in a while you get an odd experience.  Today it wasn't odd so much as funny and unintentionally voyeuristic.  When I got in it was clear that woman in the passenger seat already knew the driver, already the odd man out, I get in and say my polite "good morning" to no response.  I do not offer a dollar.

They are in the middle of a very engrossing conversation, in which the driver is telling her friend about a third woman, all clearly in they're 50s-early 60s, and how she has really bumped up her social life recently at the country club!  Seriously! It is really something to wake up to a pair of women my mother's age (or older) talking about orgasms! Yup. Good morning!

I mercifully was let out at about the moment when the driver started going into why she was reading Cosmo again so she can keep up with what's new - you know - new...

Oh carpool


p.s. on the fitness dress countdown - 29 days to go.  Did cardio yesterday and had a good dinner.  This morning I could not wake up so I bought a breakfast burrito on my walk in.  Refocus...

Office Health Program

Had a great health break today from work with one of my fabulous coworkers!  An hour walk around the city in this gorgeous weather with only a short beer break!

Triskaidekaphobia or Triskaidekaphilia?

So 3 days into the new year and I was successfully avoiding making resolutions as I try to do every year.

However after thinking about my trip to Spain and talking to my trainer and Meg this year I'm choosing to make goals and intentions for the new year.  Not resolutions, those feel so finite and so easy to fail at.

I thought it was best to write them down so that I'm at least accountable to the blogosphere if not myself.  I had to go back and look at my past post to remember my intentions from the Camino, not a good sign for how good I've been at maintaining awareness...

Health - Go down one more size in clothes.  This is the first goal for the year but feels achievable. I had a wonderfully indulgent last 3 months and while I wouldn't say that I fell completely off the wagon I definitely slipped a little in the focus.  Time to re-focus I really like how I feel when I'm fitter and on the path to healthier even if it is a slow one.

Future - Take the steps to move forward on getting my MBA, stop waxing poetic and actually look at some applications and information.  Be sure to evaluate what it is I really want professionally going forward.

Love - Work to be open to love and not talk myself out of it this year as in the past. I am really convincing when I tell myself that it is just too much work to have a relationship and while I haven't been chasing off princes with a stick this past year there may have been a few diamonds in the rough that I tossed aside too quickly...

Inner Peace - What the hell does that mean?  I'm not sure what an achievable goal for this would be.  I feel like this one just requires a constant awareness and ability to face yourself and be honest with yourself.  When I have my cray cray moments and things appear to be spiraling - take the time to pause.

Gratefulness - Intend to show  those that I am grateful for how much they mean to me and find something to be grateful for each day. This sounds like it should be easy enough these days, feeling incredibly lucky, however I'm sure there will be some days when this is one of the tougher goals...

I feel better having written it down...let's see how long we last shall we?

Happy 2013!

Intentions

When I was preparing myself for the Camino I made both myself and my dad a bracelet with 5 beads.  Each bead represents an intention that we worked on and held onto through the pilgrimage.  Many people on the Camino carried stones or other items as physical reminders of why they were walking.

The bracelets were great because there is something that happens in your mind in hour 3 or 4 of walking, like meditation, where the "noise" or busy-ness of life falls away and there is really a wonderful quiet and calm left.  I have had this a few times but it definitely takes work to get there.  I was inspired to write this post because I have been back at work  for 3 days and I am missing that calm tremendously.  There are lingering effects, and I feel able to step above the crazy and the chaos but I can still feel it pulling me back in, regrettably.

I kept my intentions for the Camino broad and high level so that each time I came back to them I could work through a different piece of it or even just broadly meditate on it.  They are: health, future, love, inner peace and gratefulness.

I am glad that the bracelet is tied on tight because now that I'm back I may need the reminders of those more than I did on the Way...